Things to keep in mind when caring for someone who is bedridden

My grandfather had a surgery recently and that is when our normal life went haywire. This was a first time experience for all of us since he is really old now and we had a lot of challenges in taking care of him.

A few things I have learnt personally from this entire episode -

One, it is ok to reach out for help and hire an attender or caretaker to take care of them at home. This does not mean we love or care for them less. It just means that we are bringing in experts to help with taking care of them. These folks are professionals and are trained to take care of sick people who are bedridden.

When we got someone for help, I was surprised by how expertly she changed the bed sheets and diapers. When we tried to do it ourselves on the first day before we hired her, we struggled to do that.

There are many healthcare providers that run these kind of services. Ask around for recommendations and hire someone.

Second, there are so many products in the market that are used to aid us in taking care of them at home. Check them out online. We got my grandfather a temporary seat adjuster that helps him in sitting and lying down. The first thing we made sure we had before we got him back home was an air bed. 

All said and done, the most difficult part is in understanding them. They will have mood swings, will throw a tantrum. Don't take it personally and continue to provide them with the best care.

The elaichi factor

I was disappointed after taking a bite of the Chandrakala sweet that I had bought. The reason?? It had  yelakka (elaichi) in it.

Elaichi is a common ingredient that is added in most of the dishes that is made these days. They add it in sweets, curries, rice. The only problem is I don't like that flavor at all. The whole taste goes for a toss when this is added while cooking a dish. 

I really don't have any childhood memories of having a dish that had this ingredient in it. Probably that is the reason I don't like it.

Me (loudly): why, why?? why do people add this yelakka to everything. Spoils the taste of the sweet.

Amma (looking at me): Other than you, I don't think anyone has any problem with yelakka. And it is good for digestion. So if you want that sweet, you need to have it with that flavor.

To all the cooks out there, can we please remove yellaka from the dishes.😞😞😞

Random thought on friendship

When I was excitedly telling a friend about connecting with someone after many years, she told me sarcastically to see how long that would last. I was taken aback initially. Later I realized she was right. 

I have had a few experiences where I started off on a great note with a friend. After the initial excitement of starting a new friendship starts to wear off, there are signs of disinterest. The conversations gradually move to formalities and the other person starts showing signs of disinterest. That is when I know it is coming to an end. Being some one who wouldn't easily give up on friendship, I tried my best to keep it going. When I realized that it was just not going to happen, I finally gave up and it just fizzled out.

On the other hand, some old friendships have stood the test of times and the bond has only grown stronger over the years.

My friend went on to say, "R, when I talk to someone after many years, I cannot be expected to pick up from where I left. Iam not going to open up and share all my life events, my problems with that person immediately. It is going to take some time. Only after we spend a lot of time together, will I move on to talk about more personal stuff." 

She was right as well. It takes a lot of time and patience to build a friendship that would last. There is no easy way.  

Why do some friendships last longer than others. I guess it depends on how much the two people like each other, trust each other and are committed to that friendship. Otherwise the friendship will just fade.