An old movie and my thoughts on feminism

I watched an old Thamizh movie two days back. I had often heard the songs of that movie and wanted to see the whole movie. It was probably made in the 80's. The story plot was about a widow's life. The heroine's husband passes away within a week of getting married. She then moves on with her inlaws. She befriends a neighbour who is a writer. He falls in love with her and assumes that she reciprocates the same. Everyone assumes that they would make a nice pair and urges him to marry her. At the end, during a trip, he puts on the kumkum on her forehead and she slaps him. According to the Indian tradition, only the man who is the husband or the intended husband can put on the kumkum in the forehead of a woman.

I think she had all rights to slap him. The man should have asked her for her consent before doing that even if he had good intentions. I had no problems with that.

The scene that followed it and the dialogues were what irritated me. When her father in law asks her what is the problem, she says that a man who was not her husband touched her. When her father in law questions her that she had touched him as well while slapping him, she immediately takes a log of wood that was in the fire and burns the place in the forehead where he had put in the kumkum. She goes on to explain that her husband is blah.. blah and that every blood, vein in her body is only her husband's property... blah.. blah..

And then the writer applauds her for her virtuousness and then leaves.

Man, it was so pathetic. I cursed myself for watching that movie. It mirrors the Indian sentiments. I don't say it is wrong for her to stay the same way if that is what she wants. If she does not want anyone in her life anymore, then that is her personal decision. But to say that touching anyone else is sacrilegious is so wrong. That is too extreme.

This shows the Indian sentiments. Why cannot a person walk out of a marriage and then fall in love with someone else. Why cannot a woman be more open on her desires?

I hope they don't make such movies these days and have moved on as a society.

Mushroom is a non vegetarian food but pastries or chocolates made of eggs is a vegetarian food!!!

One of my colleagues is a strict vegetarian since she is from a Thamizh Brahmin family. She just can't stand the smell of non vegetarian food items.

I was surprised when she would not touch mushrooms. When I had asked her, she told me that their community does not consider mushrooms to be a vegetarian food item. I tried to explain to her that mushroom is a plant and not an animal. She explained to me that she understood that mushroom is a plant, but the principles that were instilled in her from an early age would not allow her mind to consider it as a plant.

The same day, she had picked up the pastries (that contained egg as an ingredient) and was happily eating them. I asked her if she was ok in having pastries that had eggs since egg is not a vegetarian food item. She said she does not mind that. She has no problem in having pastries, chocolates that have egg as an ingredient.

I was puzzled. It did not sound logical to me.

I then noticed that this was the case with most of the people from the Brahmin community. They will not touch mushrooms, but they would have egg based food items. I know of some folks who used to have whole eggs to make sure that they have enough protein and calcium in their body.

On the other hand, when I had decided to forego non veg for almost 2 years, I used to check the ingredients of the chocolates I had. I wouldn't eat the ones that had eggs as ingredients.

Today, we both had an interesting conversation -

U: R, I wanted to tell you something. Today I was about to distribute the chocolates that H had got from onsite to the team

Me: Ok.

U: That was when H told me that one box of chocolates had rum as an ingredient.

Me: Oh. What is wrong with that?

U (with disbelief) : You are asking me what is wrong? How can I give that to the team and the girls in particular?  I asked him to take it back.

Me: What is there in that. Give it to them and tell them. Let them decide if they want it or don't want it.

U: No. That is wrong.

Me: U, you like plum cakes right?

U: Yes. I like them.

Me: do you know that one of the ingredients they add in the plum cake is "rum"?

U: No, I don't. I never read the ingredients in any item that I buy

Me: Ok, but most of them have it. I don't see any difference between the plum cake that has "rum" and these chocolates.

U: Plum cake is fine. But these chocolate are not right to eat.

I rest my case!!!!!

I couldn't help smile at that - this community follow a strict vegetarian life style. Eating anything else is considered sinful. But the whole concept can be overlooked if an individual likes to eat a certain food item!!!