Traditional indian sweets

This is the second part of the indian sweets. The first post was all about the home made sweet dishes. This one is about the other popular indian sweets that I relish eating -

• Madurai iruttu kadai halwa - the iruttu kadai is a popular shop in madurai that is famous for their halwa. I was introduced to this sweet by my dad. Whenever he used to visit Madurai on official trips, he made sure he got us this popular sweet. We were such big fans of this sweet that we would request his colleagues to buy them for us when they visited Madurai. When we finally traveled to madurai for vacation, my dad took us to the shop. It is a very small shop with no frills or decorations. People wait in queues to just buy the halwa. If you ask for one, they will just wrap one helping of that sweet in a mandharai leaf and hand it over to you to eat it. I have never tasted something like this in any other shop. The sweet actually tastes even more delicious when you refrigerate it. 

• Jalebi - when you talk about Jhangiri, how could one forget the other sweet from the same family. Memories of going to the a popular sweet shop near our house that was famous for their jalebis come to my mind. Since they were thin and crispy, one can easily have 3-4 of them in one serving. When you are served piping hot, crispy jalebis, how can you stop with just one piece. 

• Soan papadi - there are two variants to this sweet - one is the solid cube shaped sweet dish that are sold in the sweet shops. The other is the variant that is sold by the street vendors. These have a flaky texture. They are stored in a big glass container. When you ask for one, the street vendor would just wrap up a portion of the flakes in a cone shaped paper that will tempt you to finish it off in a few seconds. Although it is not hygienic, these taste better than the ones sold in sweet shops. Although I crave for those flaky strands of soan papadi, I know that I will never have the heart to buy this street food for health reasons.

        

Sold by street vendors

Sweet delicacy sold in shops

• Wheat halwa - another favorite of mine. this is one that always manages to catch my eye in the sweet shop.

• Rasagullah and rasmalai - these are two sweets that are made from milk. Of the two i prefer the rasagullah. The best is to just pick one by hand and take a big bite. For some reason, we have always bought the packed rasagullahs from the stores - Haldirams or MTR. I have tasted the rasmalai only in wedding feasts and in restaurants.

Rasagullah

Rasmalai

• Basundi - wow, am surprised by how many sweets can be made with that single ingredient - milk. 

• Kaju katli - although this is one of the most expensive sweets, all it takes to prepare this sweet dish is two ingredients - cashew and sugar. This is one sweet that will always remain as one of my favorites. I just can't stop myself from having just one piece.

• Badam halwa - who knew that a sweet made of badam, could be so delicious. I love the packing that they do for this sweet. It is usually wrapped in a butter paper and served at restaurants or weddings. A little bit of saffron can actually make it more exotic and delicious.

• Chandra kala and Surya kala - another favorite that we buy everytime we go to the sweet shop. There are two variants based on the filling they add. I have never been able to find out what filling is sold in which shop. I like the one that has the khova as the filling.

• Mysurpak - the early memories of mysurpak is the one that I have had in the wedding feasts as a child. They were a little hard and crunchy. And then came krishna sweets with their traditional mysurpa. The day I took a first bite of this sweet, I got hooked to this sweet dish. They are so soft and just melt in your tongue.

• Paal peni - i was surprised when many people did not know about this sweet. It is considered unique and expensive. It is unique since this is one sweet that cannot be eaten just like that. It has no taste. It has to be mixed with a sweet dish and milk. It is usually mixed with ladoo. One has to crush the paal peni and the boondi ladoo together, pour a little milk and mix all the three together. Plain sugar can also be used as a substitute for the boondhi ladoo. As a person who has tasted both the versions, let me say this - only use the sugar option if you have run out of stock of ladoo or if you are lazy to go and buy them 😊. If you want to make it more delicious, then use badam milk instead of plain milk. The result is worth it!!!

• Pal kova - this is a simple milk sweet that we used to prepare at home with just two basic ingredients - milk and sugar. My mom finally lost patience in cooking since we need to keep stirring the mix in the stove for a long time to get the right consistency. So finally we started buying the Aavin milk kova sweet. I used to buy one small packet and finish it off, by myself. 

Home made sweets and local delicacies

One of the things I miss during these Covid days are the sweets that we used to buy. Oh, I wish I could drive to one of those sweet shops and buy one of each variety. 

I immediately decided that the least I can do is write a post on my favorite Indian sweets. I was surprised by the sheer number of the sweet dishes and realized that one post would not be able to do justice to all of them.

Here is the list of sweets that are predominantly home made - 

• Rava kesari - the most easiest sweet to prepare at home. I don't think we have ever bought this from any sweet shop. This is the first choice to make at home for any function. This dish is prepared with two basic ingredients - rava and sugar. At home, we usually add cashew nuts and dry grapes.

• Carrot halwa - the only sweet I am guessing that is good for health. Again this is one, we never buy from the shop. I only love the one my mom makes. I step away from the ones that are made in restaurants, social gatherings or even made by anyone else other than my mom. Carrot and sugar are the basic ingredients that are needed for this sweet dish. Just like rava kesari, cashew nuts and dry grapes make them more delicious

• Payasam - I don't think there is any household that does not know how to make payasam. There are different variants. The two usual variants that they make in our family are - one with jaggery and dal, another with milk, vermicelli, sagoo and sugar (called white or vellai payasam). Unlike the others in the family, I prefer the vermicelli payasam. On days when they make the other type of payasam, I just ignore the sweet dish.

• Kozhukottai - another sweet that has many variations. I have seen many families in Chennai make kozhukottai's at home. Unfortunately, Iam a little choosy that way. I just can't bring myself to have them. Not just preference, I can only have the ones that are made at home or by our relatives since we all do it the same way. There are two variations to this sweet dish - one is prepared of rice flour that is filled with sesame and jaggery mix and then steamed. The other is prepared by mixing the rice flour with jaggery and then steamed. I love both of them and can munch on more than 3 pieces at a time.

Kozhukottai

• Gulab jamun - it is one of those easiest sweet to cook at home, thanks to those ready to make packets that are sold. An all time favorite. I still remember how a family friend (a grand mother figure to me) used to make gulab jamun from milk and khova. It was the most tastiest gulab jamuns I have ever had.

• Simbli - this is something that is not sold in sweet shops. It is a local delicacy and takes a lot of hard work and patience to make it. We were excited when we found a sweet shop in our native place that sold this. Although it did not taste exactly like how we make at home, it was close to it. A dough is prepared using ragi flour. Small pieces of the dough are flattened using a rolling pin and cooked on a tawa. The sesame, jaggery, roasted groundnuts are then pounded using hand on the traditional stone grinder along with the ragi bread pieces that were cooked.

Simbli

• Paruppu urundai - a very simple sweet and my favorite. Everyone at home know that this is my favorite of all the sweets. It is prepared by grinding the boiled dal with jaggery. Small balls are made from this mix and the balls are dipped in maida flour to cover the dough. The balls are then fried in oil. Another local delicacy that is prepared only in our homes. The quickest way is to eat this fried urundai as is. This is how it is also served to guests. But at home, we take it in a different way - one has to crumble two to three pieces of the sweet, add a little milk and ghee and mix them. Then eat it. Oh my!! no other sweet can beat the taste. At my grand mother's place, we don't usually use an electric mixer to grind the dal and jaggery. This is done with hand on a traditional stone tool. And that adds to the taste. It is much more delicious than made on an electric mixer.

• Oppattai - a variant of the paruppu urundai. It looks like a sweet poli. That is where the similarity ends. After the ball is done, it is placed inside a small quantity of maida dough and then a rolling pin is used to make a round flat bread. It is then heated on a tawa.

• Adhirasam - another sweet we have never bought from sweet shops. In fact, I just can't bring myself to eat the version we get in sweet shops or prepared in anyone's house unless it is from someone who has made it in my native place. There are two versions of the adirasam they make in our families - chakkarai adhirasam (the one made with sugar) and vellam adhirasam (the one made with jaggery). My favorite is the vellam adhirasam.

Chakkarai adhirasam

Vellam adhirasam

• Vellam vadai - this is another sweet dish that I have never seen anyone cooking it except in the families in my native place. The adhirasam and vellam vadai are made only twice a year, during  deepavalli and pongal. The vellam vadai is always made in small quantities compared to the adhirasam. I have still not understood the logic because invariably all of us like the vellam vadai more than the adhirasam. The vellam vadai is the sweet version of the medhu vadai. Only difference is the the ingredient. This one uses ulutham paruppu and jaggery. Again the ones that are mixed by hand on the traditional grinding stone tastes better than electric mixer.

Vellam vadai

Adhirasam and vellam vadai - The easiest way to eat them both is just to eat them as is. But wait, we are always different and so there is a second way to have them - one that takes some time and effort!!! This is an elaborate process and this is the first thing that everyone does when they sit to have their lunch during the two festivals - deepavali and pongal. 

What we do is - mix the adhirasam, vellam vadai and banana. Yes, it may not sound nice, but trust me it takes sooooo goood. For one serving per person, use two adhirasams, one vellam vadai and one banana. Crumble the adhirasams and vadai and then smash the banana. Mix them on hand and voila you have the sweet - you just have to eat it to understand how it tastes. No words can describe it. After the festival day, my dad usually prepares this sweet mix at home. We then store them in a container for 2-3 days and eat small quantities of this sweet delicacy whenever we want to.

Sweet dish - after the mix

• Ukaaram - a sweet dish made of rice flour and jaggery. It is not prepared regularly since it is an elaborate process and needs a lot of time and effort. One needs to continue mixing the flour and jaggery as it gets cooked slowly until it reaches the right consistency. A favorite of my dad's. 

• Rava ladoo and besan ladoo - rava ladoo is a sweet dish that can be prepared in very less time. Another popular sweet dish that is prepared at home. Besan ladoo is not something we make quite often at home although it is easy to prepare one.

• Kadum paal and milk sweet - this is a sweet that is unique and is not something that you can prepare any time. It can be only made from the first milk that is got from a cow after it has given birth to the calf. Iam guessing that the first milk right after birth is different from the milk that is received on the next few days. When one of the cows give birth, this first milk is given as a gift to close relatives in our native place. There are two sweet dishes that are made from this - one is the kadum paal (which is the liquid version). It is semi brown in color. The other variation is a sweet that is made out of this milk (this look a little like custard). Everyone loves and prefers the kadum paal than the milk sweet. I guess Iam the only one who does not like the paal, but prefer the sweet.

• Puttu - this sweet dish is prepared using rice flour and jaggery. This post is only about the sweet version that we prepare at home. Rice flour grounded specially for puttu is steamed, mixed with jaggery and then served as a sweet dish. Some of the folks in our family prefer to mix puttu with milk.

Now for the sweets that are local delicacies (popular in the sweet shops at my native place) - 

• Makkan peda - this is a local favorite. Only the sweet shops in my native place sell this one. It looks like a big dry gulab jamun. Every time my grand parents visit us, this is one item they never miss to get us. This sweet is usually sold out in a few hours.Most of the popular shops make fresh batches in the morning and evening.

Makkan peda

• Jhangiri - that orange or red color small sweet made of flour. Although I have bought and sampled the jhangiri in the sweet shops in Chennai, the ones that we get in my native place are different. They are small in size and are bright orange/red in color.

• Boonthi - another all time favorite. The ones that we get in the sweet shops in our native place are small oval shaped and yellow in color. I have been craving for this sweet for a long time. Adding a dollop of ghee to this sweet makes it more delicious!!

Makkachozham or American sweet corn

I have childhood memories of eating the locally grown corn called as "Makkachozham" in Thamizh. At my native place, these are freshly harvested from the nearby farms, allowed to boil in water and then sold by the vendors on the roads or near railway stations, bus stops. 

Since they are boiled in water, they are piping hot when you buy them. One has to remove the top layer and the hairy strands that surround the corn before eating. 

This local variety and the american sweet corns that are bought from the stores vary in taste. Although I do like the corns that are sold in the stores, I will always prefer the local variety especially the fresh ones. Iam very sure that the local variety is far more healthier than the ones that are bought from stores.

Makkachozham - 

Conversation with maid and the education system in our country

My mother's conversation with the maid today morning on her children's education:

My mom: what happened? you came in late yesterday?

Maid: had to go to school to get books for both my boys. they did not tell me that there was a parent teacher meeting yesterday. Knew it only after i reached school

My mom: Oh. how do they study now?

Maid: i got the books yesterday. they are supposed to study and do the homework. i have to then take their work and submit it in school after a month.

**Laughing***

Maid: they don't have to go to school. i have to go to submit the homework that they do. I paid twenty eight thousand (Rs 28,000) for the elder son and nineteen thousand (Rs 19,000) for the younger one. Almost ten thousand rupees difference. They gave 9 books for the elder one and 5 books for the younger one. Just 4 books difference and for that 10,000 rupees extra.

My mom: which class are they studying?

Maid: elder one is in 5th and younger one is in 2nd standard. i have to look for some other school for the elder one. this school he is in has classes only till 5th.

My mom: Oh, there is XXXXX school in that YYYYY road right. Why don't you put him in that. It is a good school

Maid: neenga vera!!! that school has rules - only students whose parents are educated can study in that school and the fees is way high. 

**laughs again*** at this age, me or my husband cannot study and get a degree.

They do have a quota for lower income people like us but for that, one needs to have high recommendation and it usually goes to people, the authorities know. We don't know anyone. what to do!!!

My mom: really!! that is bad. then start looking for other schools for him. 

Maid: yes. have to look next year. me and my husband are not educated. we want our children to study well and get a good education.

***they then moved on to other topics and she finally left for the day***

I felt very sorry for families like my maid - people who cannot afford to send their children to a good school even if they want to.

I know there have been a lot of discussions and articles on how schools are selective in taking in children based on their parents's education and the job they have. They have their own reasons for doing it.

This is so wrong. The school is supposed to coach students on the different subjects. Why do they need parents's to support them at home. There should be an alternate approach for students whose parents are not educated.

Why can't we make education free for everyone in this country - good education for all children without any discrimination and free of cost. No private schools at all. 

I know that this is never gonna happen in our country. Still, one can always dream for good things, no???

A new role for my mother during the lockdown days

At our home, during the early days of Covid lockdown, my dad had a problem. It was time for him to get his hair cut and he couldn't do it since no hair saloons were open. Even if they had opened, he wouldn't have felt comfortable in going to the saloon.

Finally, my mom took up the issue in her hands (literally), saying it was not a big deal. Her argument was - all one has to do was pick up the scissors and give him a hair cut. Simple, isn't it!!!

The first month she did mess it up a little. Gradually, she understood what had to be done and started doing a decent job.

I guess this was the case in many households post the lock down.

Conversation last afternoon -

Dad (looking at me): your mother has taken 500 bucks from me today.

My mom (smiling): you did not pay me for your hair cut. think of it as payment for the job I did.

Dad: 500 bucks for a hair cut!! this is atrocious. I pay the experienced barber only 120-150 for one hair cut. You are not even experienced as my barber.
And this 150 bucks per hair cut includes greeting me when I enter, giving me a chair to sit in an air conditioned room and wrapping a cloth under my chin so that the hair does not fall. You did not even do that!!!

Mom (trying very hard to put a serious face): this is not for one hair cut, this is for the 4-5 times I gave you an hair cut. second, you are getting an hair cut in the comfort of your own home, don't have to walk to the hair saloon.

Dad (laughing at my mom): even the scissor you are using is the same one that you use in the kitchen.

Mom (giving my dad a death stare) : Iam not like you. che!!! this is a new scissor that I took just for your hair cut.

Dad: you know, yesterday when I had gone to get some stuff from a store, the barber called me and asked me to come into his saloon. Told me he takes all precautions to stop spread of the virus. I should have gone to him.

Mom: go to him if you want. don't ever ask me to give a hair cut.

I kept my mouse shut during the entire conversation, watching both of them talking. Why stop them when I was being entertained, free of cost 😁😂😆😂

Why do we have this beauty mode in phone camera

I have not fully understood or used most of the features in my new phone. Last week was a learning in using the camera on the new phone.

When we took our photos, they all came out well. However, when I took a selfie, the picture came in very different. It looked as if my skin was clear and smooth. It was not natural at all. I did not understand what went wrong.

The next few days, as I kept looking at those snaps, I felt my skin looked so odd. Yesterday, I tried to check if anyone else had the same problem on the internet. And that is when I found this stupid setting that is activated by default in the new Samsung phones called - beauty face mode.

From what I read, this "beauty face" mode is activated by default only for selfies and the bloody idiots don't even put on any indication on the phone that this mode is activated while taking a selfie. What does this mode do - it does what they call as "air brushing" (a new word I learnt yesterday!!). Basically this feature edits the photo, by making the skin look smooth😡.

Samsung apparently tries to justify it saying, they being a Korean company, had added this setting for their people who want their face to look perfect on a photo. Right, so why did you add it in phones that are sold overseas?? And why activate the feature by default.

I think this is a problem with any new device - lot of unwanted things are activated by default. Ever since I have started using the new phone, I have discovered so many such unwanted features and have switched them off by default. Phew!!!

So what did I finally do - I did not have the mood to take another snap and there was no way I could change the photo that was already taken with this mode. Being a lazy person, I decided to keep that photo for now.... until I replace it with a new one!!!

Wild mushrooms and tender bamboo shoots!!!

Mushrooms -

I had gone to the local store to buy mushrooms a couple of days back. That brought back memories of the wild mushrooms that were cooked in my native place.

The wild mushrooms taste so different from the cultivated, store bought mushrooms. The wild mushrooms are small and are slippery to touch, which is not the case with the store bought mushrooms.

The wild mushrooms (called kaalaans) are seasonal and are usually found in small quantities just after the rains. At my native, when someone finds the edible mushrooms in the nearby hills, they collect them and sell it to families who are ready to buy these local mushrooms. They are cooked immediately for dinner or the very next day for breakfast.

They are delicious and have a distinct taste that is completely different from the store bought mushrooms.

Bamboo shoots - 
Another local seasonal produce that is used in cooking are the tender bamboo shoots. They are called moongkuruthu in our native village. These are usually found in the nearby forest. They are found in abundant during the monsoon season.There are people who go looking for them in the forest, slice them into small circles and then sell them to people at their houses since they they cannot be sold in the open markets.

The fresh bamboo shoots are then washed in water and stored in steel containers to be used in dishes the next few days. I remember my grand father used to make the trip to our house in Chennai and to my aunt's house in Bangalore, just to give these bamboo shoots that my grand mother bought the previous day. There was a traditional curry that was made with these bamboo shoots and we all loved them.

This is one of the few recipes that is local to our native village.

Fresh moongkuruthu - 

Cooked moongkuruthu - 

Squirrel's escape

During the lock down, I had decided to work from our apartment in the first floor. That way I could keep my work space separate from our home in the ground floor.

Yesterday I had gone down for a break closing the main door. A few minutes later I got back and closed the grill door and started working. I heard a feeble noise coming in from the bathroom. I thought it was water dripping from the tap and decided to go and shut it after my call. 

After the call, I still heard the sound and wondered what it could be since it did not seem to be the sound of water. With caution, I walked a few steps, taking a peep inside the bathroom from a distance. That is when I noticed a squirrel going back and forth on the netlon(mosquito net) that was stuck on the bathroom window. 

I was surprised on how the little fellow got in. I did close the doors when I left for the break, right? So how did he get in. The squirrel was moving over the net trying hard to find a way to get out. 

I cautiously went and closed the bedroom doors and the kitchen door and opened the main door wide, hoping the little fellow would get a clue and get out through the main door. I waited for a minute (although it felt as if it was hours) and slowly walked toward the bathroom. 

The squirrel did not even realize that I had opened the main door which was the easiest way to get out. Instead it was hovering over the net. And that is when I realized that mr squirrel was nibbling the net. I was sure he would not succeed. That was made of plastic, isn't it. 

But no, I was wrong. It made a very small hole on the mosquito net and made it's escape!!!

For a minute, I tried to grasp what had just happened. A squirrel in the bathroom and got itself out through a small hole it had made on the net!!!

I went in to look at the hole. It was a very small hole. How did it even get it's whole body out through that small hole is something I still can't believe!!!

We finally changed the mosquito nets to make sure the squirrel did not get back through the same hole inside.

The only question that hovered in my mind the whole day was - how did it get in and how fast it cut the net and got out!!!

Offers on holiday packages!!

Tourism has been one of the worst hit industries during the Covid situation. This is a big blow for them, especially since this is the period when a lot of people would have gone on vacations.

I had finally resigned to the fact that I will not be able to go on a holiday for next 9-10 months.

It was a surprise when I noticed this email from one of the most sought after travel agency, a few days back. It was a typical marketing email that highlighted the offers for tour packages to a few international destinations.

The email talked about introductory offers and the safe travel program. The only difference between the old tour packages and this one, was their association with a leading health care chain of hospitals and the inclusion of COVID travel insurance cover. 😁😊

Why should only couples perform rites in Hindu rituals

A few days back, when I heard about the house warming ceremony that happened in the family, the topic moved to which couple had actually performed the puja during the ceremony. The family members who owned the house could not preside over the rituals. The reason was simple - the mother was a widow and the two sons were single.

I have never fully understood if this is done for religious reasons or if it is a social norm. On many occasions, I have seen the bride or bride groom's mother or father not participating in the wedding rites because they were single. I could imagine how much it would have hurt them to see their children moving on to the next phase in life and not being able to be a part of it.

The unfairness of the system had always made me question the practice. Why shouldn't a single man or woman perform the rites. Why do we really need a couple to perform the rites.

In this case, it was the sons's hard earned money and the mother's hard work that went into constructing that house. They can ask an elderly couple to perform rites out of love, respect, belief that they will bring good luck. They shouldn't be doing this because they had no way out owing to their marital status.

This is not right and being single does not mean people are unlucky. .

As we move forward to a better future, it is high time, we all break a few unfair social norms.

Inter district travel during COVID days

We had to travel for a personal emergency from Chennai to another district this monday. It was a situation we never thought we would be in.

We have been holed up in our house ever since the lock down, occasionally stepping out for groceries, vegetables. We had read about the process laid out by the government and what people are going through while trying to travel from one place to another. That was all news to us since it was happening to a nameless person whom we did not know.

When you are in that situation, that is when the reality actually sinks in. When we had decided to travel on Sunday, we did not know where to start. We tried to look for the government sites that were put up to issue epass and all we got was inter state travel forms. Thankfully, I was able to reach out to friends in the whatsapp group to get the right link and get advice on the process.

When I finally got the link, we found that we just had to submit the form for the epass. The only problem was it asked for a few documents and for a lot of information. People told me that the epass would be approved in less than an hour since we had a genuine reason and it was an emergency.

We waited for an hour and got a rejection on the epass that we had submitted. Feeling frustrated and emotional, we did not know what to do. Should we just travel without an epass and explain the situation in the checkposts or should we wait to get it approved. My cousin then told us to apply it a second time and give more details and explain the situation. We got the toll free number as well and were asked to call and explain to them. Fortunately, we got our epass approved in 10 minutes when we applied it for the second time. It was valid for maximum 2 days including the return travel.

We got a message on the phone with a link to download the epass. All we had to do was show the downloaded epass at the checkposts and give them the reason for travelling. They allowed us to go through after verifying the epass.

We were wary of Covid risks, not stopping the car at any restaurant, using handsanitizer every time we paid cash at the toll gates.

It was a different experience for us - travelling 130kms on a well known route after staying at home for nearly 2 months.

The only question that we asked ourselves was - the whole process the government has put up for emergency travels seems to be helping only people who have money and have an own vehicle. We had our car, had a mobile with network connectivity and had people who helped us to understand the process.

What about the people who could not afford a personal vehicle. How do they travel during a personal emergency? It seems that our government was only putting up a process to aid the people who had money and was not concerned or bothered about the rest of the population.

Travails of the migrant laborers during the COVID situation

When I watch the news these days and hear the plight of the poor people in this country, I say a small thanks to the universe for giving me this life. A life where I can afford to buy what I want even during the lock down days.

I shudder to think of what the daily laborers and migrant workers are going through these tough times. Imagine waiting everyday for someone to provide food or trying to find some way to go back to your native home since you have no means to earn a living.

Imagine feeling helpless and hoping that the government will do something for you.

I understand how these political parties work in the country. No party that has been in power is corrupt free these days. Some are worse than the others. In spite of knowing all this, I thought that at least these people had a little humanity in them and were not that very bad.

That is where I was wrong. The current government has sent out a clear message to this country - they will help someone only if they are rich and powerful or if they contribute greatly to the vote bank. Otherwise, they are not bothered. If you are poor, you will be treated no better than animals.

Some incidents that moved me in the last few weeks -

* Migrant laborers walked hundreds of kilometers to their native after waiting for days. After walking for a few kilometers, the officials sent them back to the place they started.
* A man asked permission to go and pick his pregnant wife. He was denied in spite of showing e-pass. The pregnant wife decided to walk to reach home. On the way, she delivered the baby.
* Migrant laborers who fell asleep on the railway tracks due to tiredness, were run over by the train.
* Migrant laborers who had continued walking on the roads were run over by vehicles.
* A man who had a cart with two cows, sold one of his cows for money. He then pulled the cart,  stepping in place for the second cow, carrying his family and his belongings
* Two men got a ride in a lorry/truck and asked the driver to stop for water. He did not stop. One of then got dehydrated and was on the verge of dying. Since the driver had asked the dying man to get down, the friend also got down. The other man held his friend for hours until the sick friend passed away.
* Government officials sprayed disinfectant on a group of migrant laborers, treating them like animals.
* Police lathi charge group of migrant laborers who had protested and had started walking towards their destination.

There were a few good Samaritans - police, volunteers who helped these people. Glad that we have some people who understood their plight. I did hear that some people bought a lot of slippers in different sizes to give to these people who were walking to their home town. Such a thoughtful gesture. And some state governments like Kerala who have done such a good job. That state is an example of what good administration is and how efficiently people can run a government.

Question is - when they can do it, why cannot the central government or other state governments do it. When they spent money to get back Indians stranded in different countries, why couldn't they arrange transport for these poor people to go back to their native homes.

The poor have lost all their savings. They are the ones who are heavily impacted due to the virus and the lock down.

What was even more surprising was the fact that the supporters of the ruling party, still had nothing to say about the situation. Why do they still defend the government when they know very well that nothing has been done.

How can they not show any empathy towards these people. How can the elected ministers and other representatives be so insensitive. How can they even eat their food or sleep properly every day when they know that hundreds of people are suffering every day.

Every time I see a debate between the ruling and the opposition party in a local news channel, I get irritated. How can these representatives of the ruling party argue that their side is always right or lie so confidently.

How did these people lose humanity? Is caste, religion, money, power so important than these human lives?

The Manoranjitham flower

Born and raised in my native where for generations the only livelihood was agriculture, my mom loved to have a garden. That is her way of being close to nature. Thankfully, we live in an apartment that has a lot of open surrounding space.

Our compound houses a few coconut trees, a neem tree, an orange tree and my mom's garden. The biggest challenge is to make sure the plants are not ravaged by the rodents or the cats.

A few years back, probably two or three years, we noticed a strange plant growing in a pot. My mom had no idea what it was. After many weeks, she transferred it to the ground and took care of the small plant. We initially thought it was some fruit bearing plant. Over the years, the plant grew in height, without bearing any flower or fruit. There were days when my mom wanted to cut it down since it did not resemble any plant we knew.

Yesterday, while tending to her garden, my mom just looked at this plant while watering it. And that is when she noticed a flower. We were not sure if it was really a flower, since it was green in color and looked different. My mom was excited and told me that it looked like the - Manoranjitham flower. I was skeptical and thought she was wrong. She then asked me to get the "dhoratti" which is actually a iron hook that could be placed at the end of a long stick and used to pluck fruits. She plucked the flower with the dhoratti. She took it in her hands and showed it to me. And that was when I knew she was right. It was indeed the Manoranjitham flower.

The flower changed it's color from dark green to a lighter shade today.

The plant -

The flower -

The Manoranjitham flower has a fruity and an exotic fragrance. It is an unique flower.

My mom told me that there is a myth that whatever smell you wish for, the flower will provide that fragrance.

I also heard that once the flower dries, the fragrance of the flower will get more intense.

Well, we were excited the whole day.  What an unexpected discovery!!!

Respond and not react

How many times have I heard about this phrase - Respond, but do not react. It has been discussed and has been a part of most of the leadership and management training's that I had been part of.

Sometimes, one loses control and immediately reacts to a situation. And that is when all the learning's go for a toss. Reacting to a situation always brings in negativity. You don't really think what you say and when you add in anger into the mix, things go out of control. You lose your patience and only think about lashing out on others who disagree with you. By the time you realize what happened, the damage is already done. This worsens relationship.

It took me more than a day to realize what I was doing. Self realization kicked in and I realized that I was losing my composure and reacting to small things a lot in the past few weeks or months. I was just not myself. 

Everyone is so different and have their own perspectives, views. They make their own choices. As a friend rightly said, you can only show them the right path. But the decision on what path to take, lies solely on them. And there is no way, you can change someone's views by just reacting to a situation.

When this understanding dawned on me, I decided to take a step back. I decided that no matter what, am just going to shut up and not reply at all or initiate any conversations. This doesn't mean am going to not respond at all in my life. But this self isolation for a few days, will help to clear my mind and help me get back to my normal self. This is a cool-off time, Iam giving in to myself.

After that, Iam hoping that I will be able to respond to any situation (good or bad) in a positive way. 

Trip to Hyderabad

I had  wanted to write about the travels I had made in the last 2 years. Unfortunately, I have been able to write very little and have not been able to move past those few lines. Today, I finally told myself that I had to write about the trip I had made in Feb this year.

The travel to Hyderabad had been in my to-do list for a very long time. Ever since my friend H moved to Hyderabad, I had wanted to go and visit that place.

Finally in Feb, I made my plans and told her that I will be travelling for the weekend. I did not really have an agenda. 

H had come to pick me up from the airport despite me telling her multiple times that I could get a cab and come in by myself. I must admit that it felt good to see her at the airport. We talked or rather I talked the whole way back to her home. Thankfully, she had already ordered our lunch and we were able to grab the food delivered as soon as we landed at her place. 

Even after meeting multiple times and chatting, talking over phone, we just had so much to catch up on. We were non stop chatting until she realized that it was time to go for the movie (1917) that she had booked that evening. It was a fun ride to the movie theater. She kept urging the auto driver to go a bit fast since she did not want to miss even one scene of the movie.

Hyderabad was just like any other city in India. The roads were congested and the traffic was bad. I  noticed that none of the auto rickshaws had side hand bars for passengers to hold on to. So different from the ones in Chennai and most of the cities I had been to, where one side had hand bars.

I also noticed that if a person knows Hindi, they can manage quite well in Hyderabad. Every one knows and understands Hindi. Hindi is the second language that everyone is supposed to learn apart from Telugu from a young age.

The movie was good and we decided to have dinner at the mall. I had wanted to try the real Hyderabadi biryani and we found one restaurant in the mall. I had ordered for a chicken biryani and looked forward to enjoying the meal. When the food arrived, I was taken back. I had expected a spicy biryani but what I got was a normal spice less pulao with chicken curry. There was so much rice that I could have easily shared with one more person. I was disappointed and started having the pulao with the chicken curry. It was so bland with no spices. After a few minutes, I  realized my mistake - I should have digged into the biryani first. The rice was just an outer layer. The inner layer had the chicken pieces with the spicy masala. One was supposed to mix the layers and then have the biryani. And that is when it got interesting - it was really spicy. Since I had eaten half of the rice, the masala was too hot for me. I had to literally drink a little lemon juice after every spoon of rice. I finally ended up wasting so much of the chicken masala. 

Back home when I told my parents, they were surprised that I did not know how to eat a hyderabadi biryani. Looks like everyone knew about it except me and my friend!!!

The massive level of construction that was going on in every part of the city was quite disappointing. Huge rocks and boulders were being cut down to make way for new buildings.

The next day, we planned to go and visit the Salar Jung Museum and Charminar. While talking to my dad in the morning, he explained about the clock in the museum and asked us to go before 12 in the noon. The musical clock is one of the main attractions in the museum. Every hour, a figurine of a man walks out of a door and hits the small bell with a hammer. The number of times he hits the gong matches the hour at that time. Which means at 12, he would strike 12 times. Unfortunately, by the time we heard this and reached the museum it was way past twelve in the afternoon. We were able to watch the clock thrice - at 1pm, 2pm and 3 pm.

Salar Jung layout

Salar Jung is an art museum that was originally a private art collection of the Salar Jung family. The museum is huge and most of the collections are beautiful. We were in awe of the exhibits and made sure that we had seen all of them.  The ivory artifacts, the different ornamental daggers, the jade collection and the collections were just awesome. After hours of walking from one room to another and running to find a good seat in the front row before the beginning of every hour, we were tired and exhausted.

Miniature collection

Beautifully ornamented daggers

Charminar

We then took an auto to the Charminar monument. After taking a few photographs, we waited in the queue to buy tickets and go up to the upper floor. There was a huge queue since it was a weekend. When we had got the tickets and it was my turn to take the stairs, I realized that to get to the upper floor, one had to take the closed winding narrow stairs. I panicked since I was not fond of closed spaces. Imagine climbing 149 narrow winding steps in a closed enclosure where only one person could fit in a step. I was about to turn my back mid way. That is when I realized I couldn't do that. People were standing in a queue right behind us and there was no way I could go down. H kept telling me that we had reached the destination for every 2 steps I took. I don't know how I made it to the top but it was worth it. You have a very good view from the top. People were taking photos everywhere. It was irritating to see that not many people were paying attention to the architecture or at the beauty of the place. They were all interested in taking selfies and photos. This was exactly what happened at the museum and all other tourist spots I had been to.

The view of the nearby mosque from the Charminar

I dreaded the walk down since there were another set of narrow stairs that were again enclosed at all the sides to go down.I was able to breathe a sigh of relief only when I got out of the Charminar monument. Phew, I was relieved to be back in the open space. We then made way to the nearby mosque. I had never been to a mosque and wanted to see how it was inside. As expected, we were allowed only till the entrance. People could sit on the benches and take rest.

We finally headed to the Birla Mandir as the last place to visit that day. There was a long queue since it was a Saturday and we used all our left over energy to climb the steps and wait in the long queue. The whole temple was made of white marble. The view of the Hussain Sagar Lake with all the lights lit from the temple was spectacular. It was late evening and the cool breeze lightened our mood. There was a light drizzle that made us wonder if someone was actually spraying water on us. By the time we finished the darshan, we were so exhausted and hungry. All plans to go out to a restaurant for dinner went out. We just wanted to go back home. On reaching home, we made a light dinner and hit the bed after some time.

We were so lazy on Sunday that we did not step out at all until afternoon. Listening to music and cooking took us well past afternoon and it was finally time for me to leave to catch the flight back home. My friend advised me to buy the famous Karachi biscuits or the bisticks from the Almond House that is famous in the airport. They are quite famous in Hyderabad and I couldn't resist getting a few biscuits although I knew we had a Karachi biscuit store in Chennai.

Absolutely loved the trip and would treasure the memories forever.

Working from home during lockdown

Whenever I heard a friend or a colleague telling me that some firm was allowing them to work from home, I was envious of them. 

I had tried doing it once or twice in the past, but stopped it since I felt that I was either working more than usual or was doing less work. That is when I decided that I would apply for leave and then work from home if necessary. That way, I would never have to worry about doing less work.

The last four days have been strenuous. Have been working from home due to the lock down and I feel as if I have been working more hours than when I was in office. I felt so tired on the 4th day, that I had to log off and take a break after every three to four hours. I felt so drained and my energy level was low.

I then realized that I missed being in office - walking around and meeting colleagues in person, going for lunch, riding to the office. At home, I have the whole of our first floor to myself and then it is just me, my laptop and phones. Although it feels good to stay at home and have lunch with my parents, the rest of the time, Iam all alone. 

I just don't know how people work from home everyday. It is quite boring. I just don't know how Iam going to continue doing this for the next few weeks 😔😑

Well, let us just say this has been a different experience for me.

Just another normal day and people's attitude

I had to go to office yesterday to work on the BCP plan and make sure that my team have everything they need to work from home. I was sure that the roads would be empty and other than essential business, everyone would be at home. But the scene was completely different -

I wanted to fill petrol for my bike and thought the petrol stations would be empty. I was wrong - the petrol pump stations were crowded as usual. People stood in lines, not bothering to keep a distance between each other.

Traffic was a little less, that is all. People went on to do their work as usual.

The only difference was the parking lot at the office. Not many vehicles, I got a space in the first row at the usual parking space.

Not much people in our ODC. A very handful of them had come in. There was additional security right before we entered the ODC and the cafeteria. They checked the temperature and then let people in. Only packed lunch boxes at the cafeteria and people were not allowed to have lunch at the cafeteria.

Still, I guess the security personnel got tired and lazy towards evening. They stopped checking people for temperature. They were just sitting in the chairs and chatting with their colleagues.

The cafeteria was crowded post lunch with associates trying to collect their desktops and going through the verification. They were all standing in queues near to each other.

While driving back, I noticed that the stores were all crowded. People were buying loads of stuff and stood next to each other in queues to get them. No one was worried about the virus spread.

It was as if everyone was taking a long holiday. They never understood the seriousness of the situation.

My neighbors and their attitude

Last Friday, my parents and all the neighbors in our apartment were anxious and worried. They did not know what to do. Reason - the couple living in apartment 1 where returning back from US and everyone was worried that they might have the virus and would pass it on to them. They were trying to come up with a way to deal with them knowing well how the couple (S and K) would behave.

The couple finally arrived. They knew that there would be a long queue at the Chennai airport. In order to not waste time waiting in a long queue, they both asked for wheel chair assistance. They showed the medical certification from some local doctor in the US and then got out of the airport very fast after going through the basic screening.

Seriously, if this is how the government works, then no one can save this country. How did they allow two individuals who are physically fit, to get a wheel chair assistance. And what good is the self assessment that they don't have fever. As if they are going to confirm that they have infection.

As soon as the couple arrived home, the fun started - they immediately started visiting other neighbors to tell about their story. If they had common sense, they would have stayed at home for the next 10 days, not visiting anyone, asking people not to come home until they were sure they were not infected. But no, not them. They were just super excited as if they had won the Olympic gold medal.

The other neighbors have been trying to put some some distance between them as a precaution and were too polite to not tell them to back off.

And then just as we had predicted, uncle S walks in to our house this morning not even caring whether we liked it or not. He said he wanted to meet me and then handed over the chocolates saying it was for me. As if Iam going to believe it. Letz see - this is the second trip they are making. In the last few years, their sons had made several trips between US and India. Never did they buy something for us in all these years. All of a sudden, they grew fond of us and wanted to give us chocolates.

He goes on to joke that he didn't get many since they are not as good as Indian chocolates. Oh, come on, you must be kidding. All you got us was three packets of mini M&M chocolate candies. 😈😡. 

How a nice message made me smile

It surprises me on how things change so fast in your life. You never know what would happen in the next minute.

Only a few hours back, I was feeling emotional about something. I was so angry, hurt and was on the verge of tears. 

I wrapped up my work and then started reading a romantic novel to just get away from all the emotions that were going on inside me.

And then suddenly a colleague who is also one of the few best friends I happened to have in my life, messaged me about how he presented his idea to the executive leadership last week. 

Just like that, all those emotions just faded away. His enthusiasm was contagious and in a few minutes I was smiling.

I read the congratulatory mail that he forwarded and wished him success.

Quite surprising on what life throws at you every minute. Just one message from someone and you go from feeling hurt to feeling joy.

Memories of going to the IIT entrance coaching classes in high school

When we had the reunion last weekend, they were talking about how a few guyz in our batch had landed in IIT. That was news to me and I was surprised. I really didn't know that 3 people had landed up in IIT. They even told me about someone who had got into BITS, Pilani. That was also news to me.

I didn't think much about it at that time. Today, when I messaged a friend from those coaching classes, I remembered how desperate I was to land in one of the top engineering colleges when I was in 12th grade. I was always the studious type, who concentrated more on studies than any other extra curricular activities. One of the other reason being, I was shy and studies was the only thing I figured I could just be myself.

When I reached 11th grade, my parents put me into the IIT entrance coaching classes. The coaching classes I went to, was famous because of the physics professor. He was fondly called Balu sir. Getting an admission to their classes was very difficult and they only hand picked the top students who scored well in the 10th grade. You had to enroll or apply many months prior and then go to meet him with your 10th mark sheet. And then go separately to the other two professors who taught Maths and Chemistry and get their approval as well.

The classes were held on weekends in a school that they had rented out for this reason. On the weekends, that school compound would look like there was a festival happening in there. Parents used to come to drop their kids or pick them up. There were many batches and kids used to finish one subject and move on to the other one, while the next batch came in. The watchman of the school was the most important person during the weekends.

The classes started in the early mornings and went up to late nights. Some parents used to wait near the trees holding food and other stuff for their kids.

I felt so lonely since the day I started going to these classes. There were some students who had come in groups from other schools. I was the only one who had enrolled that year from our school. They were all bright students who were very intelligent. They only talked about the maths or physics problems, solutions and all that. I never made any friends there.

I remember there was just one girl who was like me the only one from her school. We were together for a few classes and tried to make small talk. Aside from her, I did not talk to anyone else.

The professors used to conduct tests regularly. Balu sir's tests were supposed to be very tough. If you scored more than 10%, then you were considered brilliant. I hardly got 2 or 3 out of 50 or 100. The first few weekends were very hard for me. I had school work on the week days. And then early morning to late night classes on weekends. I did not get time to do anything else. The best part of it was it helped me to score high marks in my school exams since they would cover all those in the coaching classes many months in advance.

The worst nightmare was trying to score high marks in their tests in the first year. Only if we got good marks, we would be given a seat to join the coaching classes for the second year. I was not able to get the seat for Balu sir's classes in 12th. But got seat in the Maths and Chemistry classes.

Although I did not make any friends with the other kids, my parents became fast friends with the other parents. They formed a group and my dad had other parents to give him company while he waited for me to finish my classes. In fact, they stayed in touch for a few years, discussing about the various education options for their kids and the progress they made.

I just remember one senior in my school who I met during one of those classes. We just talked for a few minutes and he advised me to study hard.

Days went by very quickly. I finally did not end up getting through the IIT entrance exams. I did not even get a seat in BITS. In fact, I did not do engineering at all.

I was disappointed that year. When I look back now, Iam glad I did not get through these colleges/universities. I don't think I would have survived my engineering years in these places. In fact, am not sure I would have liked engineering to begin with.

If I had known all this at that time, I wouldn't have even enrolled in those coaching classes. In fact, I would have probably taken commerce or literature or history. I would have loved reading stories of countries, civilizations, or probably done some bachelor course and then taken up MBA in HR.
Unfortunately, at that time, decisions were not made based on personal interests.

Still, they were good memories - memories of hard work, the sacrifices the whole family had to make, the anticipation of what the future would hold, the hope.

Cost cutting in the company

Our company decided that they should do some cost cutting to get a high profit margin. After spending a lot of money to do a research on how this can be done, they started asking a lot of people at the top level to leave.

We had some changes in a few of our accounts. Here is the story -

Day 1 - Associate A (a senior person from onsite) is asked to leave. He managed two to three accounts - X, Y, Z.
After one to two months - Associate B is hired from the market at a higher level than A. Am sure B's salary package is more than A.

After a couple of days - B understands that there is lot more work to do and she cannot handle everything by herself. So she gets C (who is almost at the same level as her) and then hires D from the market and sends out a note saying - C will manage account X and D will manage account Y.

After a few months - B hires E again from the market to manage a few small accounts including Z.

So now, instead of one person A managing three accounts, we have 4 people to manage these 3 accounts.

Then they finally realize that they are incurring a lot of costs and there is no improvement in account X. So they ask C to leave the company and keep the other three.

I was really good at mathematics in school. But it is so hard for me to understand how we had managed to cut the costs.

Cost of having A is less than cost of having B, C and D, isn't it?

Have people really lost their mind in this company?

My MV: R, shut your mouth. No one asked for your opinion. And will you stop writing all this in your blog. You are definitely going to be kicked out.

The School reunion - part two

Continued from part one

I reached home and realized that I was feeling so hungry. Damned guyz. It was supposed to be a reunion dinner and I just had two to three pieces from the veg and non veg platters. Won't these guyz have dinner at all. How will drinking all those alcoholic drinks fix one's hunger. I can never understand why people drink - is it for the taste, for companionship, to show off or a habit. No drink can compare to that chocolate milkshake with ice cream as topping, right. These guyz just don't understand food.

On reaching home,
My dad: So, did you have good food?
Me: yeah
My MV: no R, not tonight. you can tell them tomorrow. if you tell them you did not have food, they will ask then what did you go for.

Me (looking at my parents): am going to bed now
My MV: innaiki pasi oda thoonga vendiyathu thaan.

😆😂😄

Reunions always bring back fond memories of your childhood and make you feel good at the end of it. The memories keep you going for the next few days.

Oh, wait, am not done with this yet. The problem with me is that it is hard to lie to people especially my parents.

The next day morning,
Me (to my mom): Amma, can you pls get me breakfast a little early today. Iam feeling so hungry. Did not eat much last night.
My mom: What did you mean, you did not eat? Did you not go for dinner. You went so early and came in late.
Me: Err, amma, it was actually not a restaurant. It was some kind of a pub or retro bar (i tried to explain this to her).
My mom: so, don't they sell food.
Me: Actually, i think they do. But no one ordered and then we had to leave.
My mom: so, what did the others eat?
Me: err, i don't know.
My mom: what stopped you from making yourself dosa last night at home. You could have had it with the podi right. You want me to do everything for you. You are so lazy. Arive ille.

My MV: You deserve this, R.

My mom: so was it just you or did any other girl come in?
My MV: I knew this question would come in
Me: No, H was there, S was there. You remember S right and then Sg got his wife. And I guess Rp came in as well after I came home. She couldn't make it earlier. Got a little busy at home.
My mom: why would a girl go so late to meet people? She could have skipped the get together right.

My MV: R, unakku arive ille. Now, how are you going to explain this to amma. Did anyone ask you about Rp. You could have stopped with Sg getting his wife right?

Me: I don't know ma. Now, can you get me the breakfast pls.

and that is how I finally dodged her question and left quickly to office.

Phew, that was a narrow miss!!! 

The School reunion - part one

School reunions are always exciting. It is the time for everyone to meet and catch up with old friends. A month back, me and my friend were talking about how it was time for the next reunion and wondered why no one had initiated it. It was almost a year since we met the others.

Personally, I loved to go to these reunions and get together. There are so many people around you and you have a sense of belonging. You can just listen to their conversations and life experiences. They are so interesting.

For someone like me, who feels happy to take the back seat, not indulge in any conversation and observe people, these get together's are exciting. I remember how Rj used to try very hard in convincing me to go with her to these high school get together's after we had passed out of school. Even back then, I would love to go and meet everyone, but I was sure I would never fit in the group. I always felt completely out of place.

The good thing about growing old is that you reach a stage where you just don't care about what others feel. If they like you, they will stay in touch; if they don't, then they will not.

Coming back to the reunion, the dates and the venue details was shared to all of us a few days back. The name of the venue was a place I did not recognize. A quick search on the google showed it as a resto/lounge bar. I just kept staring at my laptop screen, trying to make sure if I got the place right.

My Mind Voice (MV): I knew it, the guyz want a place to catch up and drink until late night. And here I was expecting a lunch at a good restaurant.

Almost a year since we had our last reunion and now, this!! I wanted to scream and yell (well, just being a little melodramatic here!!).

Finally, I couldn't help asking this good friend of mine on who chose this place. So I messaged him in the group and got back the best response I could get - silence 😀😃

My MV: Arive ille R, you never learn from your mistakes. Why the hell did you ask him that question. Why?? Stupid girl

Well, after a call and a few messages, I was sure they were not going to change the venue. Eventually, me and my friend decided to drop in and meet the others for some time and then leave as early as possible.

Before leaving home,
My dad: R, why are you taking the bike? I can drop you in the car. Been almost a week since we drove it
My MV: Sutham. I had told appa that Iam going to a restaurant for dinner. How will I tell him the name and the place. He will then ask for details. Eventually, he will find out when he drops me. Iam never going to forgive these guyz.
Me: No pa. That is ok. It is in G N Chetty Road. I can take the bike.

Deciding to catch up before the actual D time, me and H met at the Coffee Day a few hours in advance. We chatted and kept looking up the time, wondering when the place would open, what do we do if we go in early and no one shows up.

I took H to a store to do some shopping to kill time. And then when it was almost time, we started to the get together venue.

While driving,

Me: See, there is Accord, there is Absolute Barbecue, there is that restaurant XX, YY, ...(loudly reading out the names). Why can't they choose these places.
H: yeah, I know

Me: ok, so how far should I go
H: the map says you need to take this road to the left.
Me: but this is too small a road to take. Call him and check na

H (calls PK): hey, where is this place??.... oh , ok. ... fine. thanks
H to me: he does not know. asks us to follow the map
Me: map aah. Sutham... call N na, he is the organizer

H (calls N): hey, we are at this xxx place. Where is this place. How do we come in there?

After ending the call,
H (to me): he is saying, look at the map. He does not know.
Me: hullo, does he think we don't have sense. Of course, we have the map he shared. If the map showed directions correctly, why would we call him. And he is the organizer, how does he not know the directions..Call him na, let me talk to him.

Finally, after driving in circles, making a few phone calls to ask for the directions, we did reach the venue.

I just took one look at the place and told H that Iam not going in. Poor H, she was trying so hard to convince me to go in. Giving in to her, I parked my bike. That is when we heard the music blaring outside.

H: that is music coming in from the top floor, da. I think that is the dance floor.
Me: what?? no da, i think it is from the next building

H: No da, it is from this place only. Must be from the retro bar.
Me: ok, then call N and tell him to come down. we will say hi and then leave. If you want to stay, you stay. Am going to go to Sangeetha, have one rava dosa and leave.

H: Come on da, we will just drop in, say hi and leave

I finally gave in to her reasoning. We figured it was in the 3rd floor. We took the stairs, with me grumbling that atleast this will do some good to our health.

Let us just say, I have never been to a pub or a retro bar before. I have an idea of how one looks and know of all the details, thanks to all the novels I read. But reality is different from the fictitious world.

We found N in there and quickly sat down after a round of introductions. I looked around and really liked the place. It was done very well, was cozy and a band was playing in a corner. Since I am never into Western music, they did not make sense to me at all. But I could just imagine, sitting in a quiet corner, with a book in hand and good food.

My MV: Why couldn't this be a coffee shop instead of a pub. I would have stopped by whenever I had time, if it was just a cafe.😈

As we settled in, people started dropping by and the conversations started flowing. I have always been surprised by how men bond with each other and how women bond. With men, they all seem to know each other quite well even if they had never been connected for years. They bond very fast, joke, pull each other legs - they are all part of this big gang.

Women are a little more different - there will always be smaller groups within the big group. We will chat and talk with everyone, but will still look out for that close friend. This is in our DNA. That is how we are at every place - family, friends, office. Just go to any function or get together, the women will always be in smaller groups.

Photos were clicked and the guyz ordered their drinks.
When one of the friend asked me about what my husband was doing, I was a little taken back. Been a long time since someone asked me that question. I had to tell him that I was single and he quickly apologized. After all these years, I should have been used to these questions. Still, it hurts every time someone asks them.

And when they talked about the next year reunion, I didn't have any words to respond.
P: Next year, we should ask everyone to get in their families - spouses and children. We should do a big get together
Me: (smiling) hmmm.. nice..
My MV: Wow, good plan. Will get a chance to meet everyone's family. On the other hand, how will I survive that one -everyone coming in with their family. Who will I bring in. R, this is your last reunion😆😄

There was something else I didn't understand - why is it easy to chat with someone on the phone than talking to them in person? Is it just me or is it that way with everyone else? I feel more comfortable writing to someone - sending an email or messaging. But when I meet them in person, I just don't know what to say to them. All that I had wanted to talk or say to them, goes right out the window. Weird but true. There is a reason to this but that is a thought for another day and another post.

It was getting late and me and H had to leave. We finally bid good byes to the whole bunch. I was sure that they would stay up until late in the night, savoring their drinks and the conversations.

It was nice of two of our friends to come down outside with us and make sure that H got her cab and had no problems. I still haven't figured out if they took this chance to come out or just cared for her. Still, it just felt nice.

Continued - part two