This is my experience of the bride seeing ceremony. This is a must for any arranged marriage.
A typical scene - me inside the room sitting patiently trying to overhear the conversation that is happening in the drawing room between my parents and the entourage from the bride groom's side.
After the initial greeting, they decide that it is time for me to show up. As soon as Iam called by one of my parents, I take one last look at myself in the mirror to make sure that I don't look bad.
My parents instruct me to say a "vanakkam" by folding my hands to the people who had come. They say that people would like to see me doing that. It seems so stupid and it amuses me to know that we still want to stick on to these traditions even in this age. It looks so artificial.
Scene 1 -
All conversations come to a stop when I make my grand entrance. All eyes are on me and one of them (usually one of the female relation) asks me to sit down strategically opposite the bride groom for him to have a good look at me.
They all look at me from head to toe making sure that my eyes, ears, mouth, hands and legs are all functional.
Some of them are polite and courteous and introduce the members of the group. There is one person who is assigned as the speaker (again it is usually a female relative). Here is a typical conversation that happens most of the times.
Female relative (FG): that is the bride groom
Me: ok
My mind voice (MV): I know. He is the one who is discreetly looking at me now.
FG: So, where did you do your college
Me: MCW (I tell the name of the college)
MV: there you go. my interview starts.
FG: You did both your UG and PG there
Me: yes
MV: no comments. arre, RS, she might ask the year you passed out as well. you do recollect them right.
FG: What time do you go to office and come back
Me: I try to leave home by 8.30 to 9.30 am and then reach back by 6-7.30 pm these days.
MV: seriously, my own manager has never asked me these questions during appraisal
FG: oh, good. very good. XYZ (the bride groom's name) usually goes early to office and comes very late. He has late night calls and is a very important person in the office.
FG (looks at everyone): these days people working in IT firms make people work long hours. Good that she is able to come home early.
** she implies that any wife should come home early to do the house work.
Me: oh
My dad pitches in: she comes home early and takes late night calls. You see most of her customers are based out of USA and it is morning time for them
MV: grrrhhh. how many times have I told appa not to give in these details. So will they reject the proposal if I come late. why is it that XYZ coming late implies he is a hard working and intelligent person and me coming late is bad.
FG: do you work on weekends
Me: not really. sometimes I do.
MV: thought so. I was sure this would be the next qn. it really seems to be an HR interview
FG: how do you travel
Me: it varies - I take a train, bus or cab
MV: why is no one asking the bridegroom how he travels.
FG: do you know how to cook.
Me: (my parents are hoping and praying I would say yes) yes. I cook when my mom is not in town. I have cooked for 4-5 people when I was at onsite for close to an year. I can if I want to.
MV: what will they do if I had said no. should try that once.
***My parents say a word of thanks to the lord almighty for making sure that I had answered this question right.
FG: what is your height and weight
Me: (looking at my dad, I recite my height and weight to them and then look at my dad to make sure I have the figures right)
MV: phew, that was so close. why do they not read the details from my biodata. Would have saved me the trouble of remembering them.
** *My dad is relieved I got this one right. Usually I get the figures wrong. I am bad at remembering numbers. In fact before every such episode, he makes me go through these numbers once repeatedly telling me not to screw this question.
And the questions go on and on.
More details to follow in Part 2
A typical scene - me inside the room sitting patiently trying to overhear the conversation that is happening in the drawing room between my parents and the entourage from the bride groom's side.
After the initial greeting, they decide that it is time for me to show up. As soon as Iam called by one of my parents, I take one last look at myself in the mirror to make sure that I don't look bad.
My parents instruct me to say a "vanakkam" by folding my hands to the people who had come. They say that people would like to see me doing that. It seems so stupid and it amuses me to know that we still want to stick on to these traditions even in this age. It looks so artificial.
Scene 1 -
All conversations come to a stop when I make my grand entrance. All eyes are on me and one of them (usually one of the female relation) asks me to sit down strategically opposite the bride groom for him to have a good look at me.
They all look at me from head to toe making sure that my eyes, ears, mouth, hands and legs are all functional.
Some of them are polite and courteous and introduce the members of the group. There is one person who is assigned as the speaker (again it is usually a female relative). Here is a typical conversation that happens most of the times.
Female relative (FG): that is the bride groom
Me: ok
My mind voice (MV): I know. He is the one who is discreetly looking at me now.
FG: So, where did you do your college
Me: MCW (I tell the name of the college)
MV: there you go. my interview starts.
FG: You did both your UG and PG there
Me: yes
MV: no comments. arre, RS, she might ask the year you passed out as well. you do recollect them right.
FG: What time do you go to office and come back
Me: I try to leave home by 8.30 to 9.30 am and then reach back by 6-7.30 pm these days.
MV: seriously, my own manager has never asked me these questions during appraisal
FG: oh, good. very good. XYZ (the bride groom's name) usually goes early to office and comes very late. He has late night calls and is a very important person in the office.
FG (looks at everyone): these days people working in IT firms make people work long hours. Good that she is able to come home early.
** she implies that any wife should come home early to do the house work.
Me: oh
My dad pitches in: she comes home early and takes late night calls. You see most of her customers are based out of USA and it is morning time for them
MV: grrrhhh. how many times have I told appa not to give in these details. So will they reject the proposal if I come late. why is it that XYZ coming late implies he is a hard working and intelligent person and me coming late is bad.
FG: do you work on weekends
Me: not really. sometimes I do.
MV: thought so. I was sure this would be the next qn. it really seems to be an HR interview
FG: how do you travel
Me: it varies - I take a train, bus or cab
MV: why is no one asking the bridegroom how he travels.
FG: do you know how to cook.
Me: (my parents are hoping and praying I would say yes) yes. I cook when my mom is not in town. I have cooked for 4-5 people when I was at onsite for close to an year. I can if I want to.
MV: what will they do if I had said no. should try that once.
***My parents say a word of thanks to the lord almighty for making sure that I had answered this question right.
FG: what is your height and weight
Me: (looking at my dad, I recite my height and weight to them and then look at my dad to make sure I have the figures right)
MV: phew, that was so close. why do they not read the details from my biodata. Would have saved me the trouble of remembering them.
** *My dad is relieved I got this one right. Usually I get the figures wrong. I am bad at remembering numbers. In fact before every such episode, he makes me go through these numbers once repeatedly telling me not to screw this question.
And the questions go on and on.
More details to follow in Part 2
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