Friendship between Krishna and Sudama

I had wanted to write about the friendship between Krishna and Sudama for a very long time. Today seemed to be the right day to do so.

The friendship between Krishna and Sudama is widely known to everyone. Here is the short version - They were childhood friends who lost in touch after their education. Krishna went on to be the prince of the Mathura kingdom while Sudama was an impoverished villager. When Sudama was pushed towards extreme poverty, his wife prods him to meet his friend and ask for help. With great trepidation, Sudama visits Krishna but does not tell him the reason. Krishna understands his friend's situation and gifts him with money and wealth.

Krishna is praised for his generosity and the respect, love he had for his friend in spite of their social differences. This is what all stories talk about. I am not going to debate on whether Krishna was truly god's incarnation or if this story was really true. This post is not about that.

From Krishna's view, he had never forgotten his childhood friend and helped him when he was in need.

What about Sudama? The epic describes the meeting - Sudama feels uncomfortable and actually leaves after exchanging pleasantries, never asking for help. When he realizes the amount of wealth Krishna has, he even tries to hide the rice that his wife had packed to present to his friend.. How awkward he must have felt in front of his friend and how much of self esteem and respect he must have had in not asking his friend for help in spite of his grave situation.

Sudama would forever be in gratitude of Krishna. No questions about that. But was their equality in that friendship? How would he have felt while living in the wealth that was gifted to him by his friend.

Real and true friendship can only exist between two individuals who are equal. I might sound like a cynic here. However that is the truth. There cannot be friendship between two individuals when one feels he/she is indebted to the other person, worships the person or feels intimidated by the other person.

That does not mean they should not help each other at all or their cannot be any financial or social inequalities. Of course, there will be differences and inequalities. No two people are alike. There will be times when they would reach out to each other for help. The question is to what extent should this be so as to not tip the balance in the relationship.

Would Sudama have had the courage to point out to Krishna whenever he was wrong or made a mistake? Does he even understand Krishna's political views. Can Krishna sit and discuss with Sudama about the Pandavas and Kauravas, political allies, war arrangements. The answer is no. Sudama will always feel indebted to Krishna and would praise him, love him, his whole life. But that is all he can do.

This was very well written in the novel - Parthiban Kanavu (by Kalki). The friendship between a prince and his army general. On the battlefield, away from home they were great friends. When the war ends and they return to their homeland, their responsibilities and life styles are very different. Although they continue to be good friends, they realize that the bond they had in the battlefield had weakened.

When the differences become too big, this is bound to happen. One of them will always want to help the other person while the other person would start feeling inferior to his/her friend. The bond would slowly fade as time flies by.

On the other hand if the differences are not that huge and each one is independent and self reliant, then they would be equal. They would share their ups and downs in life, help each other, argue when they have difference in opinions. There will always be a give and take.

That is real friendship!!!